I really like FRUA, Yahoo Groups, Adoption Blogs, Family building web-sites and Message Boards they are great resources. Had I read this much in school I'd be a genius millionaire. Our agency has a very supportive Yahoo Group specifically for families waiting and traveling to Russia. So many nice people to communicate with. I feel I have made friends in the blogger world that I hope to know and be able to follow their adventures in the future. And here is the BUT. I am troubled by some of the threads/chats on FRUA and some Yahoo groups. Some of them are so depressing I want to get on a plane and go help these families or at least give them hug and a shoulder to cry on. I say Prayers for them and can't stand that they are in agony. The topic of the threads/chats are painful, they involve being introduced to and traveling to meet little ones. So since we are leaving for our First Trip I am going to do Rich and I a favor and just focus my energy differently for awhile.Of course I will have to keep reading the blogs we follow, personal e-mails and comments here. Can't go completely cold-turkey. These journeys are miraculous and so worth knowing about even with the ups and downs.
13 comments:
Sounds like a good choice. I am a blogging junking now, but I had a couple of good friends warn me about FRUA. It seems to be a great resource, but since I am the type that allows myself to get all worked up I decided it was best not to subscribe until after our adoption is complete. You don't want to be naive of course but you have to shelter yourself a bit for your own sanity. Hang in there!
I wsnt to give that lady a big hug too.
I think it is so cool that you will meet your bunny at Easter time. Be prepared for the first trip to be hard and both emotionally and physically draining. But it is all so worth it in the end. You'd never know the tiny little thing with such sad eyes we met on our first trip could be same person as the joyful, silly and crazy affectionate little girl in our home now. Stay focused on the positive!!!
You take the words right out of my mouth---I totally feel the same about some of the discussion that is going on.
On the one hand, I think it is important to keep myself informed, but I totally understand the being overwhelmed by it. I get sucked in to reading something and then I just feel so terrible and torn, and like you, sick at heart for the people who are suffering through these things.
I think that you are very wise right now to take a break from these things, and focus on your own mental health and spiritual center. I don't think that it is selfish at all--like Kim said, you are going into a situation where you are going to need that focus and reserve, so do what you need to do to stay positive (like eating as much chocolate Easter candy as possible!) I'll be praying for you, sweetie, and I'm so glad that you're going to meet the "Real" Easter bunny!
Gerard treatened to take my computer to work with him. I remember begging him not to.
You know you can always call me.
Joy
Oh my goodness, I TOTALLY know what mean! I have already had to make 2 phone calls to my agency and ask them about rumors I read on there. Each time my caseworker reminds me to "STOP READING THOSE GROUPS!" I have to laugh! It is addicting and sometimes I get good suggestions but recently the threads about never finding a child and on and on is getting me down. I too have stopped. :)
FRUA can be a great resource but I totally agree. There are some SUPER negative people there. Some of them I understand -- they've had some bad experiences... but also some people I just think like to wallow in their own misery.
Yes, absolutely focus on the family you are to become! I think FRUA is a fine agency, but they do have a tendancy to be a bit alarmist at times. Focus on your family. . .
Ditto to all of the above. I left a Russian Adoption Yahoo Group because it was doing me no good and causing me so much worry and stress. My agency kept telling me to stop reading. The bottom line is I trusted my agency and they did everything they said they would and the timelines were correct. I joined FRUA, but not the chat board....too much.
After coming home with my daughter, I don't have time for any of it....barely keeping up with the blog. Haha.
Russia IS making some changes. So my suggestion is get there and get your child as soon as possible and make sure your agency is secure in their accreditation.
Best of luck.
I totally understand you and think you are doing the right thing for now. I had to do it myself for a while. Focus on your trip now and stay positive.
You can always come back and read the post later. LOL
Jolynn - FRUA is a catch 22 for sure!! You can get so touched by the support that parents have for one another and then, WHAMO, you can have your day ruined by reading one post. My advice is to only read/skim every 1-2 wks, when you know you're not feeling too vulnerable (that's not often for us adoptive moms: ) I have also received extremely beneficial info. Bottom line from a PAP who will be an AP in two weeks: Keep faith, it WILL happen.
Sandy
Hiya..we came back in early March from our 1st trip and I made the same decision as you...about 2 weeks before we left i stopped reading the horror and guess what? Everything went perfect! Good luck, I look forward to reading your progress..do you mind if I post a link for your blog on mine?
Thanks! God Bless!
I totally agree! I have a love/hate thing with FRUA...it can drag you in with no lifeline out. I have gotten some great info there...but have also gotten very overwhelmed.
You asked me recently if I added pictures of my animals in our album for Hope. Yes, we did. I made a photo collage of all 4 animals in one photo. I did not want to overwhelm her with 4 pictures of different animals. She seemed very interested in that page too.
Best of luck on your first trip. Take more pictures than you think you need. Enjoy, and drink plenty of water so you don't get sick like we did.
Yep, I agree about FRUA as well. Right before and then between trips I took a break, or at least tried to.
Can't wait to hear all about your Easter trip!!
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